"I have this breath and I'll hold it tight
And keep it in my chest with all my might!"
I never thought I could feel sympathy for a vacuum cleaner after having to lug one up and down the stairs for countless years of my life, but it seems that all things do, in time, change.
I had been sucking up some bits with Jared's mum's smaller vacuum cleaner- which we have, uh, acquired- and went to put it away. I don't think the neck for that thing had been disconnected for MONTHS because there was a thick wad of dust and thread stuck in the connecting area of the two bits of pipe that make up the neck. So I sucked that up too and it suddenly dawned on me to check the bag as well. And it was FULL. Like, not just full full, but full to BURSTING. It was so fat and heavy that it felt like a medium-sized cat when I picked it up. I looked at the filter too and it was so clogged with dust that I'm surprised the cleaner was working as well as it was. From my mouth, completely involuntarily, sprang the words "poor, poor vacuum cleaner!" in a soothing voice; not that it's odd for me to speak to inanimate objects, especially electrical ones, but I had never felt so sorry for one in my life.
I changed the bag and the filter and found all the little components that go in the top compartment, making the cleaner complete again. And then I named it Max (because I always turn it up to max when I'm using it). And now I'm glad to say Max is feeling much better.
I tend to name any appliance that I use often or am particularly attached to. The first one was Fred, the P.A. system I used to use as part of Finn's band. Then there was Felix, my first slightly owned laptop who couldn't unplug and had 20 GB of memory. After him came Toshie, my new Toshiba laptop. My Scarlet Lily plant that I keep in the bathroom is called Theo. I named the toaster Buzz because he has an odd habit of buzzing when you put bread in the left side. My iPods have all been named after songs of my favourite artists: my first 1GB nano, Little L (Jamiroquai), my second 8GB nano Octavarium (Dream Theater), also known as Octy, and my current 160GB classic Stellar (Incubus). I named Jared's 6-string Washburn bass guitar Washy, and thankfully my brother has bought him off Jared, because I got quite attached to him. The brand name of the back fridge is Kelvinator- I mean, who could resist calling that by its name?! And the list goes on... I can't wait till I get my new keyboard, my Korg Triton TR-76, so I can name that too!
Showing posts with label Things That Make Me Smile. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Things That Make Me Smile. Show all posts
Monday, May 24, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Educate
"Why do I feel so numb?
Is it something to do with where I come from?
Should this be fight or flight?
I don't know why I'm constantly reeling.
Helpless hysteria
A false sense of urgency
Trapped in my phobia
Possessed by anxiety."
I had my first day of music teacher training today. It was... intense. There's so much they feel the have to educate us on... and I'm paying attention as I've never paid attention before, despite the feeling that it's all common sense. You know, stuff about being friendly and that. I don't know, I'm going to have to look through my notes again. My head is overfull of information; it doesn't even know where to start cataloging.
Also I had an instant coffee today with too much coffee in it and went on a nasty caffeine trip. I got all anxious and panicky and sick-feeling. Why do I do that to myself? Why haven't I learned about my low tolerance for caffeine? I had two coffees and a tea today. I must get out of the habit of drinking things like that just to look grown up. I think this is an example of what that girl said today, Laney (the other new vocal teacher), that learning is conscious. You have to choose to learn from something.
A tiny baby has just come into the world. My niece, Lyrical. She is so, so tiny. It's daunting. I feel afraid when I hold her, nervous of the huge responsibility that comes with such a tiny thing. I loved the idea of "Auntie Sheen" but now that it's down to it, I'm scared. The vulnerability and dependence of a newborn baby is staggering. Her entire life, aspects of her personality and her behaviour, they are in our hands.
What will she learn?
Well, I'll teach her to sing. And that coffee is bad for you.
Is it something to do with where I come from?
Should this be fight or flight?
I don't know why I'm constantly reeling.
Helpless hysteria
A false sense of urgency
Trapped in my phobia
Possessed by anxiety."
I had my first day of music teacher training today. It was... intense. There's so much they feel the have to educate us on... and I'm paying attention as I've never paid attention before, despite the feeling that it's all common sense. You know, stuff about being friendly and that. I don't know, I'm going to have to look through my notes again. My head is overfull of information; it doesn't even know where to start cataloging.
Also I had an instant coffee today with too much coffee in it and went on a nasty caffeine trip. I got all anxious and panicky and sick-feeling. Why do I do that to myself? Why haven't I learned about my low tolerance for caffeine? I had two coffees and a tea today. I must get out of the habit of drinking things like that just to look grown up. I think this is an example of what that girl said today, Laney (the other new vocal teacher), that learning is conscious. You have to choose to learn from something.
A tiny baby has just come into the world. My niece, Lyrical. She is so, so tiny. It's daunting. I feel afraid when I hold her, nervous of the huge responsibility that comes with such a tiny thing. I loved the idea of "Auntie Sheen" but now that it's down to it, I'm scared. The vulnerability and dependence of a newborn baby is staggering. Her entire life, aspects of her personality and her behaviour, they are in our hands.
What will she learn?
Well, I'll teach her to sing. And that coffee is bad for you.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Perusal
"Well hey, hey baby it's never too late
When I'm gone you won't remember a thing
But I can't stay and you know I won't wait
I was gone from the very first day
Oh...
You've never been so used as I'm using you
Abusing you, my little decoy
Don't look so blue, you should've seen right through
I'm using you, my little decoy
Oh, I'm not sorry at all...
I won't be sorry at all...
I'd do it over again."
Girls go out window shopping. It's a thing that we do. Even if we can't afford, don't need, or even don't want anything new, we'll go out and look at clothes in shops. It's a fun activity. It's like dressing up dolls, except you're the doll (maybe we're conditioned to do this from childhood, when we're given dolls and shown how to dress them up?)... sometimes we'll even try the clothes on. But the important bit is that even if we're looking, we have no intention of buying them.
Guys don't seem to be able to understand this at all. Maybe that's why girls get accused of being teases, or of leading guys on. A guy catches us looking at him or talking to him in a certain way and as soon as he finds out we're not single, or not interested, we are discarded and labeled a tease. Well, I say "we"... I mean me. It seems to happen to me a lot.
Maybe if guys could be made to see the merits and the fun of window shopping, they'd get this. We're looking at them. We're talking to them. Once in a while maybe we're even flirting with them. But we have no intention of going any further with them. We can't afford to (no spare time or affection), we don't need (aren't single) or want (aren't interested in) a relationship. But if we didn't try boys on for size, we'd never figure out what we really want or need.
I guess where this is really coming from is this: I've just recently realized that, contrary to popular belief, there are a LOT of decent guys in the world. And I mean a lot. You just need to look in the right places. In my tutorials alone there's at least three guys who interest me (one of them only mildly, but still). And I'm lucky enough to be considered attractive to quite a number of boys who come in contact with me (I know it's pretty conceited for me to say that, but I don't feel like being down on myself today, and if I give in to my logical brain, the evidence for this claim is there. Starkly).
Since I've started comparing notes with Jared, I've become disillusioned with the male species. I used to think (or maybe hope) that heterosexual guys could talk to girls with the sole aim of wanting to get to know them, as a friend. As in, with nothing to do with getting into their pants, or hooking up with them, or thinking "damn, she's hot. I'd better talk to her". Jared assures me this is not possible. And as he is a boy, I have to take his word for it.
That being said, it's not just his word. With two of the guys who have been rather obviously interested in me, as soon as I've mentioned a boyfriend they have backed off somewhat.
EXAMPLE ONE: Guy from my ENGLISH101 Tutorial. He was all friendly and very, very obviously keen, but as soon as I mentioned Jared he started sitting somewhere else.
EXAMPLE TWO: Today a guy from my LINGUIST101 Tutorial was talking to me while I was standing waiting for Jared, and by and by he asked me what I was waiting for. "Boy," I said, pointing to where I could see Jared coming up the hill. "Oh, right," he said. "Well, see ya." And he walked off. It was very sudden. It almost made me laugh.
(Now, I'm willing to give in if anyone wants to object to the way I'm reading these situations. I'm fully open to other interpretations. But with my woman's intuition that's how they seem to come across.)
It kind of makes me a bit sad when this happens. I admit freely- I enjoy being noticed and talked to by guys. It makes me feel attractive, and not just physically. Everyone wants to feel like an attractive person, no matter what they say about "I don't need a man" etc. It's also nice to know that I'm attractive to people other than Jared. So it makes me kinda sad when I mention a boyfriend and the other guy immediately loses interest. Would it be so hard for him to continue to talk to me without me being available?
My brother and his wife and Jared and I went to see a comedy show thing today, and one of the comedians went off on a rant that interested me very much. He was talking about how girls complain that all the guys they meet in bars are chauvinistic, horrible pigs. He objected. He got quite agitated actually. He said, "There are guys out there who want to love you! Who want to bring you flowers and think about you and to... to place you on the pedestal you deserve! But they're not the ones you tend to fuck!"
Girls go window shopping. For guys, too. It's just idle perusal. Some guys can be very pleasing to the eye, too. For a little while you can pretend that you do have time and affection, or that you're single, or that you'd like a boyfriend. Just as trying on clothes makes you feel trendy and good-looking, trying on guys makes you feel attractive and appealing. And what girl doesn't want that?
I should really start writing my advice book for guys decoding the female mind...
When I'm gone you won't remember a thing
But I can't stay and you know I won't wait
I was gone from the very first day
Oh...
You've never been so used as I'm using you
Abusing you, my little decoy
Don't look so blue, you should've seen right through
I'm using you, my little decoy
Oh, I'm not sorry at all...
I won't be sorry at all...
I'd do it over again."
Girls go out window shopping. It's a thing that we do. Even if we can't afford, don't need, or even don't want anything new, we'll go out and look at clothes in shops. It's a fun activity. It's like dressing up dolls, except you're the doll (maybe we're conditioned to do this from childhood, when we're given dolls and shown how to dress them up?)... sometimes we'll even try the clothes on. But the important bit is that even if we're looking, we have no intention of buying them.
Guys don't seem to be able to understand this at all. Maybe that's why girls get accused of being teases, or of leading guys on. A guy catches us looking at him or talking to him in a certain way and as soon as he finds out we're not single, or not interested, we are discarded and labeled a tease. Well, I say "we"... I mean me. It seems to happen to me a lot.
Maybe if guys could be made to see the merits and the fun of window shopping, they'd get this. We're looking at them. We're talking to them. Once in a while maybe we're even flirting with them. But we have no intention of going any further with them. We can't afford to (no spare time or affection), we don't need (aren't single) or want (aren't interested in) a relationship. But if we didn't try boys on for size, we'd never figure out what we really want or need.
I guess where this is really coming from is this: I've just recently realized that, contrary to popular belief, there are a LOT of decent guys in the world. And I mean a lot. You just need to look in the right places. In my tutorials alone there's at least three guys who interest me (one of them only mildly, but still). And I'm lucky enough to be considered attractive to quite a number of boys who come in contact with me (I know it's pretty conceited for me to say that, but I don't feel like being down on myself today, and if I give in to my logical brain, the evidence for this claim is there. Starkly).
Since I've started comparing notes with Jared, I've become disillusioned with the male species. I used to think (or maybe hope) that heterosexual guys could talk to girls with the sole aim of wanting to get to know them, as a friend. As in, with nothing to do with getting into their pants, or hooking up with them, or thinking "damn, she's hot. I'd better talk to her". Jared assures me this is not possible. And as he is a boy, I have to take his word for it.
That being said, it's not just his word. With two of the guys who have been rather obviously interested in me, as soon as I've mentioned a boyfriend they have backed off somewhat.
EXAMPLE ONE: Guy from my ENGLISH101 Tutorial. He was all friendly and very, very obviously keen, but as soon as I mentioned Jared he started sitting somewhere else.
EXAMPLE TWO: Today a guy from my LINGUIST101 Tutorial was talking to me while I was standing waiting for Jared, and by and by he asked me what I was waiting for. "Boy," I said, pointing to where I could see Jared coming up the hill. "Oh, right," he said. "Well, see ya." And he walked off. It was very sudden. It almost made me laugh.
(Now, I'm willing to give in if anyone wants to object to the way I'm reading these situations. I'm fully open to other interpretations. But with my woman's intuition that's how they seem to come across.)
It kind of makes me a bit sad when this happens. I admit freely- I enjoy being noticed and talked to by guys. It makes me feel attractive, and not just physically. Everyone wants to feel like an attractive person, no matter what they say about "I don't need a man" etc. It's also nice to know that I'm attractive to people other than Jared. So it makes me kinda sad when I mention a boyfriend and the other guy immediately loses interest. Would it be so hard for him to continue to talk to me without me being available?
My brother and his wife and Jared and I went to see a comedy show thing today, and one of the comedians went off on a rant that interested me very much. He was talking about how girls complain that all the guys they meet in bars are chauvinistic, horrible pigs. He objected. He got quite agitated actually. He said, "There are guys out there who want to love you! Who want to bring you flowers and think about you and to... to place you on the pedestal you deserve! But they're not the ones you tend to fuck!"
Girls go window shopping. For guys, too. It's just idle perusal. Some guys can be very pleasing to the eye, too. For a little while you can pretend that you do have time and affection, or that you're single, or that you'd like a boyfriend. Just as trying on clothes makes you feel trendy and good-looking, trying on guys makes you feel attractive and appealing. And what girl doesn't want that?
I should really start writing my advice book for guys decoding the female mind...
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Glimmer
"And if it ends today
I'll still say that you shine brighter than anyone..."
Things that have made me smile this week:
The convenience store on K Road. On the static sign above the shop it says, "ONE STOP CONVENIENCE!". On the flashing neon sign on the window it says "ONE STOP CONVENIANCE!".
The manhole on Wellersley Street with part of the white road marking line painted over it, that's been accidentally put back into the road so that that portion of the white line is at a right angle to the rest of the line on the road.
The hippie guy in his brightly coloured psychedelic t-shirt, meditating in between the roots of a huge tree in Albert Park. I wish I'd gone to chat with him!
My bright blue stockings.
Waving at Danny across the park, awkwardly as I had part of a chelsea bun in each hand...
Craccum; I thought it'd be some gay little newsletter thing, but it's absolutely fantastically mad.
"Find Biker Girls
Meet Local Biker Girls Near You. View Profiles 100% Free. Join Now!"- proof that everybody needs love...
Rise Against playing one of the best concerts I've ever been to. Getting rather pummelled at said concert and loving it.
Realizing that after I hand in all my stupid essays, I have two weeks holiday starting next monday.
Nana coming home from the hospital; even though I can't go and hug her as I have a cold.
Resolution: When I go back to Uni, everytime I see someone awesome or think "I should talk to that person", I will.
I will ask the girl selling newspapers on the corner of Victoria Street whether they're supposed to shout like oldschool paper boys.
I will talk to the bus driver about whether they enjoy their job.
I will ask my tutors how they became tutors.
I'm tired of being aloof.
I'll still say that you shine brighter than anyone..."
Things that have made me smile this week:
The convenience store on K Road. On the static sign above the shop it says, "ONE STOP CONVENIENCE!". On the flashing neon sign on the window it says "ONE STOP CONVENIANCE!".
The manhole on Wellersley Street with part of the white road marking line painted over it, that's been accidentally put back into the road so that that portion of the white line is at a right angle to the rest of the line on the road.
The hippie guy in his brightly coloured psychedelic t-shirt, meditating in between the roots of a huge tree in Albert Park. I wish I'd gone to chat with him!
My bright blue stockings.
Waving at Danny across the park, awkwardly as I had part of a chelsea bun in each hand...
Craccum; I thought it'd be some gay little newsletter thing, but it's absolutely fantastically mad.
"Find Biker Girls
Meet Local Biker Girls Near You. View Profiles 100% Free. Join Now!"- proof that everybody needs love...
Rise Against playing one of the best concerts I've ever been to. Getting rather pummelled at said concert and loving it.
Realizing that after I hand in all my stupid essays, I have two weeks holiday starting next monday.
Nana coming home from the hospital; even though I can't go and hug her as I have a cold.
Resolution: When I go back to Uni, everytime I see someone awesome or think "I should talk to that person", I will.
I will ask the girl selling newspapers on the corner of Victoria Street whether they're supposed to shout like oldschool paper boys.
I will talk to the bus driver about whether they enjoy their job.
I will ask my tutors how they became tutors.
I'm tired of being aloof.
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