Fail-vacuum

"I have this breath and I'll hold it tight
And keep it in my chest with all my might!"


I never thought I could feel sympathy for a vacuum cleaner after having to lug one up and down the stairs for countless years of my life, but it seems that all things do, in time, change.
I had been sucking up some bits with Jared's mum's smaller vacuum cleaner- which we have, uh, acquired- and went to put it away. I don't think the neck for that thing had been disconnected for MONTHS because there was a thick wad of dust and thread stuck in the connecting area of the two bits of pipe that make up the neck. So I sucked that up too and it suddenly dawned on me to check the bag as well. And it was FULL. Like, not just full full, but full to BURSTING. It was so fat and heavy that it felt like a medium-sized cat when I picked it up. I looked at the filter too and it was so clogged with dust that I'm surprised the cleaner was working as well as it was. From my mouth, completely involuntarily, sprang the words "poor, poor vacuum cleaner!" in a soothing voice; not that it's odd for me to speak to inanimate objects, especially electrical ones, but I had never felt so sorry for one in my life.
I changed the bag and the filter and found all the little components that go in the top compartment, making the cleaner complete again. And then I named it Max (because I always turn it up to max when I'm using it). And now I'm glad to say Max is feeling much better.

I tend to name any appliance that I use often or am particularly attached to. The first one was Fred, the P.A. system I used to use as part of Finn's band. Then there was Felix, my first slightly owned laptop who couldn't unplug and had 20 GB of memory. After him came Toshie, my new Toshiba laptop. My Scarlet Lily plant that I keep in the bathroom is called Theo. I named the toaster Buzz because he has an odd habit of buzzing when you put bread in the left side. My iPods have all been named after songs of my favourite artists: my first 1GB nano, Little L (Jamiroquai), my second 8GB nano Octavarium (Dream Theater), also known as Octy, and my current 160GB classic Stellar (Incubus). I named Jared's 6-string Washburn bass guitar Washy, and thankfully my brother has bought him off Jared, because I got quite attached to him. The brand name of the back fridge is Kelvinator- I mean, who could resist calling that by its name?! And the list goes on... I can't wait till I get my new keyboard, my Korg Triton TR-76, so I can name that too!