"The world is a drought when out of love
Please come back to us
You're all of the above
'I'm making a choice to be out of touch.
Leave me be,' He said, he said, he said...
'Leave me here in my stark raving, sick, sad little world!
Leave me here in my stark raving, sick, sad little world!'"
I haven't posted for a while... I guess there hasn't really been anything to say. I'd closed that chapter- it was quite a short one I guess. I thought it'd be that easy. Cut the ties. Turn in a new direction. Start a new chapter. I should've known.
It was really weird actually. I was thinking that as I loaded up my blog, and then the latest entry under Danny's blog said something quite similar. That seems to happen to us a lot.
Today I logged into msn for the first time in ages to sort out my mess of a hotmail inbox. There was a message from Shadowboy in it, just a general thing sent out to everyone. He called it Travel Log, and it was just an account of what'd happened to him so far... but reading it made me so... so sad. I suddenly realized that, by cutting the ties I had to him as more than a friend, I'd almost cut him out of my life. Made him someone neutral, normal, unknown. And it hurt. Evidently there are still some sore spots from where I cut the ties, and they haven't healed yet.
So, patience. I must have patience and wait for them to heal. Silly really- I shouldn't've thought that it'd be that fast and easy. I should've listened to you, Danny, when you said time. Twice.
I'm in purgatory. In limbo. Just waiting.
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okay, hadn't read this when i posted my last comment but yeah..
ReplyDeleteIt's great that you've found your true love in Jared, but that doesn't mean that you need to wipe all of the love from your past. I don't know if that's relevant or if I sound harsh, but I guess as like, ruler of all that is conflict and confusion, I wanted to remind you that it's okay not to be okay about things.
But it's also okay to make a quick, clean cut. It's just like a physical cut, once it's done, it's done. it hurts, but after a while it doesn't. but the cut doesn't go away. It heals, then it fades. sometimes there's a scar.
Just give it time.